Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
