All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
