you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
