We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just googled if crying burns calories
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
