I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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