Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
