went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
