Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
