just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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