Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Holy shit dude........stairs
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
