stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
