I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
