just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
