He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
