you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
