I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
