..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
