Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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