I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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