Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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