Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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