Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
