You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
