Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
