Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
