I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
