HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
