After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
