I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
