Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
