is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
