Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
