Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
