I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im having a threesome with these popsicles
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
