none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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