I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
