How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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