Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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