Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
