it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Houston, we have a squirter
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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