i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
