can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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