I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
