My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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