yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So much rum. So many feels.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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