who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
