listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
