i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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