Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
