I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
