fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
