the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
