I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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