Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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