i think my tv is drunk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's blow job season.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
