Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
