No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
